Anvil and Sprocket Movie Review

Trace (I think that’s Trace) tries to adjust Regina Carrol’s makeup.

And then suddenly there were more movie-mocking projects than you could shake Torgo’s stick at from the old Mystery Science Theater crew. The most recent version, Joel Hodgson’s Cinematic Titanic, is the first to return to the silhouettes-on-a-movie-screen format. I received my copy in the mail earlier this week, and the Elf and I sat down to watch it once we got the kid to bed.

“Doctor! No!”

There are a handful of phrases that one doesn’t expect to hear all that often in the modern day. “Fire in a buggy whip factory” is one of them. “An all-new silent film” is another. Given that the H.P. Lovecraft Historical Society’s The Call of Cthulhu comes on a DVD and not on a city block, it’s an easy guess which phrase applies in this case.

Um, Guys? I’m fairly certain the smoke from that is toxic.

In the opening moments of Jürgen Vsych’s campaign video for Ralph Nader, the rules for the Kerry/Bush debates are thrown onto a charcoal grill and burnt to a crisp. It’s nice when a movie is willing to admit exactly where it’s coming from. In the thirty-minute video, Ralph Nader is flanked by two dolls representing President Bush and Senator Kerry. Bush and Kerry’s responses to questions are reduced to soundbites, while Ralph Nader is held to no discernable time limit. One could also point out that Bush and Kerry are not given a chance to rebut Nader’s statements – but that’s more a fault of Nader not being on the stage to debate Kerry and Bush than it is a fault of the filmmakers’.

When Phil Veneziano asked me if I was interested in reviewing his exercise video, Pilates for Men, I have to admit to being a bit apprehensive. I mean, it is an exercise video. Those don’t tend to get along with me very well. OK, I’ll admit it: exercise in general doesn’t get along with me very well. I’m a sedentary individual; my work is in front of a computer. My hobbies are in front of a computer. And then, when I really want to unwind, I sit down and read a book. All of this sitting and hunching and leaning and slumping and debugging has taken quite a toll on me. I’m not fit, I have terrible posture, and once on the way home from work I was mugged by a three-legged chihuahua.

Enjoy the shot – these legs get a lot of screen time.

*__The Aviary__ is an independent film and is available exclusively from theaviarymovie.com*

While furloughed from her airline in 2002, Silver Tree decided to use the time to write a screenplay that would tell the story of a flight attendant with honesty and sensitivity. The result is a film called The Aviary – the story of flight attendant Summer Pozzi who attempts to rebuild her life after a surprise transfer to San Francisco takes her away from her family and boyfriend.

“Um, I don’t think this is the movie I signed up for.”

Ophelia is an ordinary girl with an unfortunately literary name. She has a father who wants her to be a good little housewife/consumer, a brother who torments her constantly, a boyfriend who’s destined to be a Wall Street magnate, and a best friend who shares her love of cosmetics, cigarettes, Leonardo DiCaprio movies, and teen fashion magazines.